Over the past couple of weeks since 12WBT started I have been absolutely flat out. Trying to fit in exercise, looking after my twins and family, working three days a week and being an organised teacher has been a struggle. I haven't always got in my 500 calorie burn each day and I haven't always stuck within my calorie allowance, but I have been a great mum and have worked extremely hard to be the best teacher for my class. I'm still losing weight slowly but not at the rate I should be.
I really need to timetable how long I'm going to spend doing school work. I think as a teacher I could work 24 hours a day and it would still not be enough. I look at some teachers who do the bare minimum and sometimes I am envious. I just can't do that but I need to have a better balance in my life. I need to spend more time on myself and less time on everyone else.
Even though I haven't been burning or eating the calories I should, I have been much better then I have been in a very long time. I'm really thinking about what I'm putting into my mouth and feel so much better for it. I'm finding a love for wholesome food and really feeling the difference when I'm putting the wrong kind of foods in my mouth.
Something I have to be aware of is the fact I lose my resolve every time we have other family members staying with us. My family have always been very healthy and skinny and I'm the one fat little duckling. My family basically eat whatever they want and do little exercise to keep in shape. Particularly when we are out, one of my family members will say lets stop for morning tea and order these high fat content food and drink items. I always think, just this once won't hurt.
In the next couple of weeks, I'm going to make more time to focus on me and my health. I will eat really clean and achieve my 500 calories burnt everyday. I know I can do it and I know the results will be worth it.
Saturday, 25 February 2012
Monday, 16 January 2012
Promise to myself
I've been slack and haven't posted for a while. I've been busy getting things organised to go back to work, looking after my twins, cooking and exercising. I really need to consistently post cause I feel it is very beneficial to me as I'm not a big talker when it comes to things about me. It's probably more that I always turn a conversation to the other person so I don't have to admit things out loud.
I've been reasonable good in the last week but definitely not up to the standard I set the week before. It has gone from being close to 40 degrees to being wet and dreary. I'd normally just workout at home when its raining but my brother has moved back home until his visa is approved to go to Canada. He kind of has set up shop in the lounge room with no chance of doing something else. I've still exercised but not enough and not every day. Although I've spent two days moving furniture and boxes of resources to set up my new classroom which raises more then a little sweat.
Something that I need to put out there although I'm very scared to admit it is that sometime I indulge in food and feel so horrible afterwards that I make myself be sick. Today was one of those days. I spent the morning setting up things in my new classroom and I was running late to get my haircut. Instead of eating the food I had planned because I ran out of time, I stopped into KFC and got a large chips. I didn't enjoy it at all but kept eating anyway. When I got home I had to be sick. I felt so horrible and guilty that it needed to come out. I'm making a promise here and now that I will never do that again.
I have always had body issues. There was always something that I didn't like about myself. When I was about 15 a girl I knew was talking about the easiest way of losing weight and vomiting was one of them. Ever since then I've always done it from time to time. I was never a very big person. I was always short and tiny but because I am so short every time I put on a tiny bit of weight people would notice.
I really started putting weight on when I hit my 20's. I was 22 and had been in a long term relationship and we had built a life and were getting ready to get married. Out of nowhere my partner told me he didn't think he wanted to do this any more. It was a slam in my heart that had come from no where. He told me that I'd put on weight and wasn't really attracted to me any more. I was devastated and had to move back home which was even more deflating. I sunk into a depression which took me a long time to climb out of. I always put on an outward happy appearance but have never been happy with my body.
My husband has always loved me for who I am and would never make me feel horrible for putting on weight. With the birth of our twins, I have realised that I want to be a "yummy mummy" and most of all I want to set good examples for my babies. My husband has recently lost 20kg and now we are working together to lose the rest of the weight for both our sakes. It definitely makes a difference having his support.
I have jumped all over the place with this post but the 2 mains things I promise myself:
1 I will never be sick because I've indulged in something I shouldn't
2 I will get to my goal weight and be a 'yummy mummy' for my kids.
I've been reasonable good in the last week but definitely not up to the standard I set the week before. It has gone from being close to 40 degrees to being wet and dreary. I'd normally just workout at home when its raining but my brother has moved back home until his visa is approved to go to Canada. He kind of has set up shop in the lounge room with no chance of doing something else. I've still exercised but not enough and not every day. Although I've spent two days moving furniture and boxes of resources to set up my new classroom which raises more then a little sweat.
Something that I need to put out there although I'm very scared to admit it is that sometime I indulge in food and feel so horrible afterwards that I make myself be sick. Today was one of those days. I spent the morning setting up things in my new classroom and I was running late to get my haircut. Instead of eating the food I had planned because I ran out of time, I stopped into KFC and got a large chips. I didn't enjoy it at all but kept eating anyway. When I got home I had to be sick. I felt so horrible and guilty that it needed to come out. I'm making a promise here and now that I will never do that again.
I have always had body issues. There was always something that I didn't like about myself. When I was about 15 a girl I knew was talking about the easiest way of losing weight and vomiting was one of them. Ever since then I've always done it from time to time. I was never a very big person. I was always short and tiny but because I am so short every time I put on a tiny bit of weight people would notice.
I really started putting weight on when I hit my 20's. I was 22 and had been in a long term relationship and we had built a life and were getting ready to get married. Out of nowhere my partner told me he didn't think he wanted to do this any more. It was a slam in my heart that had come from no where. He told me that I'd put on weight and wasn't really attracted to me any more. I was devastated and had to move back home which was even more deflating. I sunk into a depression which took me a long time to climb out of. I always put on an outward happy appearance but have never been happy with my body.
My husband has always loved me for who I am and would never make me feel horrible for putting on weight. With the birth of our twins, I have realised that I want to be a "yummy mummy" and most of all I want to set good examples for my babies. My husband has recently lost 20kg and now we are working together to lose the rest of the weight for both our sakes. It definitely makes a difference having his support.
I have jumped all over the place with this post but the 2 mains things I promise myself:
1 I will never be sick because I've indulged in something I shouldn't
2 I will get to my goal weight and be a 'yummy mummy' for my kids.
Monday, 9 January 2012
Today's a better day.
I had a bad day yesterday. It was 29 degrees outside with extreme humidity. I had a horrible nights sleep but got up and got on with my day. I headed to my mother's group and walked around with my twin boys. I didn't eat the yummy morning tea but I was slightly tempted. I got berated for having my mum look after my twin boys when I return to work. One of the other mother's thought it would be too much for her. I'm pretty sure my mum wouldn't of suggested it if it was going to be too hard and it's not like she's going to be doing it for nothing. I will be paying her and she's going to do this instead of having a job. I think looking after the boys where they are at now is easier for her then standing on her feet and travelling to a job.
My mum have a blood disorder that means her platelets multiple uncontrollably and she has to take a chemo tablet to control this. At time she gets quite sick but it's something she's going to have to deal with for the rest of her life and is doing the best she can. I will be keeping an eye on her, if I think it is too much we will change the plans. She also enjoys some money coming in that she can spend on herself.
Once I got home from mother's group the boys were so over tired and cranky, I gave them a bottle and put them straight to bed. One of the boys was so cranky he fought the sleep and by the time I got him to sleep the other one woke up. Then it was time for lunch and getting tea organised and before I knew it it was dinner time and I had done no exercise.
I was feeling a little flat and spied some chocolate and had two pieces before I ever thought about it. When my husband got home it was still 30 degrees outside and we decided to wait for it to cool down. I was so hot and bothered I had a coke and even though I enjoyed it I was disappointed in myself. By the time it was cool enough to go for a run one of my sons woke back up and was screaming. By the time I calmed him down and got him back to sleep it was past nine o'clock. There was going to be no run.
This morning I woke up and was disappointed with my efforts. I got up and did two Michelle DVD's and burnt over 500 cals and tonight I will go for a run and get close to another 500 cals. At least today I was able to combat my bad day yesterday.
My mum have a blood disorder that means her platelets multiple uncontrollably and she has to take a chemo tablet to control this. At time she gets quite sick but it's something she's going to have to deal with for the rest of her life and is doing the best she can. I will be keeping an eye on her, if I think it is too much we will change the plans. She also enjoys some money coming in that she can spend on herself.
Once I got home from mother's group the boys were so over tired and cranky, I gave them a bottle and put them straight to bed. One of the boys was so cranky he fought the sleep and by the time I got him to sleep the other one woke up. Then it was time for lunch and getting tea organised and before I knew it it was dinner time and I had done no exercise.
I was feeling a little flat and spied some chocolate and had two pieces before I ever thought about it. When my husband got home it was still 30 degrees outside and we decided to wait for it to cool down. I was so hot and bothered I had a coke and even though I enjoyed it I was disappointed in myself. By the time it was cool enough to go for a run one of my sons woke back up and was screaming. By the time I calmed him down and got him back to sleep it was past nine o'clock. There was going to be no run.
This morning I woke up and was disappointed with my efforts. I got up and did two Michelle DVD's and burnt over 500 cals and tonight I will go for a run and get close to another 500 cals. At least today I was able to combat my bad day yesterday.
Sunday, 8 January 2012
Today I decided to purchase the Michelle Bridge's cookbook from Big W as the one I ordered online still isn't here and I wanted to get a jump start on my diet. I pretty much organised all my meals for the week as well as the rest of my family. I wrote a massive list of food I needed for the various meals and sent my husband out to get it. I'm pretty happy with my choices and can't wait to try them. Tonight I had a spinach and ricotta bake with some veggies and chicken.
Today is supposed to be rest day but I didn't exercise on Friday but I kept convincing myself that I should rest. Yeah I was sore and tired and very very very hot but after dinner I decided to go for another run/walk. It wasn't the best running I've done and I walked a lot of where I normally run but still I'm happy I got out there. I've got to stop getting angry at myself because I'm unfit and have to work up to a decent pace.
Something I've always struggled with is stepping outside my comfort zone. When I'm comfortable, I have the confidence to do anything that I need to do but when I feel slightly uncomfortable I close up and put up my shell. I've always struggled in big groups of people. Mainly because I don't like not knowing what people are thinking of me. I wish I could stop caring but I care what everyone thinks. I get upset by the smallest things. Being part of the 12WBT is good because I can put myself out there through words without putting my whole self there to be criticised. The only problem is that many members of the 12WBT are starting to organise get togethers and exercise groups. I really want to go but first I get nervous meeting new people and second I'm pretty unfit and don't want to look stupid. Hopefully I'll keep training with my husband and when I'm confident in my fitness I will join.
Today is supposed to be rest day but I didn't exercise on Friday but I kept convincing myself that I should rest. Yeah I was sore and tired and very very very hot but after dinner I decided to go for another run/walk. It wasn't the best running I've done and I walked a lot of where I normally run but still I'm happy I got out there. I've got to stop getting angry at myself because I'm unfit and have to work up to a decent pace.
Something I've always struggled with is stepping outside my comfort zone. When I'm comfortable, I have the confidence to do anything that I need to do but when I feel slightly uncomfortable I close up and put up my shell. I've always struggled in big groups of people. Mainly because I don't like not knowing what people are thinking of me. I wish I could stop caring but I care what everyone thinks. I get upset by the smallest things. Being part of the 12WBT is good because I can put myself out there through words without putting my whole self there to be criticised. The only problem is that many members of the 12WBT are starting to organise get togethers and exercise groups. I really want to go but first I get nervous meeting new people and second I'm pretty unfit and don't want to look stupid. Hopefully I'll keep training with my husband and when I'm confident in my fitness I will join.
Saturday, 7 January 2012
Feeling Fantastic
What a change a day can make. Yesterday I was feeling down and out and really disappointed with how everything happened. Today I'm on top of the world and just weighted myself and I have lost exactly 2kg in three days. I am so happy. I know you are normally supposed to weigh yourself in the morning and according to the 12WBT program we're supposed to get up on Wednesday wee and weigh. I didn't get my scales until Wednesday afternoon and I weighed myself at a similar time.
My day started better because my husband took my twins and I got a little extra sleep. Then we had a lunch time birthday party for my cousins son. Instead of driving the distance we walked with the twins. When we got there I resisted eating the nibbles and drank only water. For lunch I was very sensible and had a multi grain roll with salad. When the birthday cake came out I felt my resolve shift. The cake looked absolutely delicious. I tried reasoning with myself about how I could just have a small piece but in the end I walked outside and had none. I was really proud. My biggest problem is what I eat. I've never been a big eater but have the biggest sweet tooth.
When we got home, my house guests had gone home so I was able to do a DVD. I worked through Michelle Bridge's Super Shredder DVD. I didn't quite have enough space and the tiles were way to hard for the ab workout but I worked through it and got in a great workout. One of my twins was watching me the whole time and started laughing at me which add to the enjoyment.
After the boys had dinner my husband and I took the boys for a run/walk. We took over an hour and covered about 10km. I can already see, over almost a week, that running is getting easier and easier. I'm really focussing on my breathing which means I don't get many stitches or being too out of breath. My main problem today was my legs were hurting after doing Michelle's DVD.
Over 1000 cals burnt today and my food intake wasn't even at my allowed 1200 but I feel fantastic. This is the feeling I need to hold onto. It also helps that when I'm down and out and don't want to exercise I get my butt kicked by other 12WBT in the facebook group. If I keep this up I will meet all my weigh goals by the end of the year, if not sooner.
My day started better because my husband took my twins and I got a little extra sleep. Then we had a lunch time birthday party for my cousins son. Instead of driving the distance we walked with the twins. When we got there I resisted eating the nibbles and drank only water. For lunch I was very sensible and had a multi grain roll with salad. When the birthday cake came out I felt my resolve shift. The cake looked absolutely delicious. I tried reasoning with myself about how I could just have a small piece but in the end I walked outside and had none. I was really proud. My biggest problem is what I eat. I've never been a big eater but have the biggest sweet tooth.
When we got home, my house guests had gone home so I was able to do a DVD. I worked through Michelle Bridge's Super Shredder DVD. I didn't quite have enough space and the tiles were way to hard for the ab workout but I worked through it and got in a great workout. One of my twins was watching me the whole time and started laughing at me which add to the enjoyment.
After the boys had dinner my husband and I took the boys for a run/walk. We took over an hour and covered about 10km. I can already see, over almost a week, that running is getting easier and easier. I'm really focussing on my breathing which means I don't get many stitches or being too out of breath. My main problem today was my legs were hurting after doing Michelle's DVD.
Over 1000 cals burnt today and my food intake wasn't even at my allowed 1200 but I feel fantastic. This is the feeling I need to hold onto. It also helps that when I'm down and out and don't want to exercise I get my butt kicked by other 12WBT in the facebook group. If I keep this up I will meet all my weigh goals by the end of the year, if not sooner.
Thursday, 5 January 2012
Feeling Terrible
Last night one of my twins had an awful night sleep. He has always struggled sleeping as he has a tiny little nose and often would wake himself up because he couldn't get enough air. Even at one point he turned blue in his sleep. His awful night sleep meant I had an awful night sleep. When he was first born I was lucky to get an hour sleep but now that he has been sleeping well and I struggle with little sleep. Needless to say I didn't get up this morning and work out.
I am planning to do workout DVD's during the day and go for a run/walk in the mornings and/or evenings but currently we have house guests and they are always in the lounge room or wanting to do something or just in the way. I love my sister but sometimes the rest of her family are frustrating. Therefore I haven't been able to do any DVD's.
Then this afternoon I started getting a migraine and as I sit here typing it is getting worse and worse. So I'm not even going to get my evening run/walk in with my husband. I feel this is all just excuses but I guess life gets in the way. I just don't want life to always get in the way and I never get to my goals. Anyway tomorrow is another day (and my guests go home, I will miss my sister terribly but I will enjoy the space again).
I am planning to do workout DVD's during the day and go for a run/walk in the mornings and/or evenings but currently we have house guests and they are always in the lounge room or wanting to do something or just in the way. I love my sister but sometimes the rest of her family are frustrating. Therefore I haven't been able to do any DVD's.
Then this afternoon I started getting a migraine and as I sit here typing it is getting worse and worse. So I'm not even going to get my evening run/walk in with my husband. I feel this is all just excuses but I guess life gets in the way. I just don't want life to always get in the way and I never get to my goals. Anyway tomorrow is another day (and my guests go home, I will miss my sister terribly but I will enjoy the space again).
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Day 3 and already failing.
Today I feel like I failed. For one I ate some biscuits because I've been trying to have only shakes during the day and some salad at night. I was so hungry that I didn't resist the temptation. Many times I eat without thinking, this time I chose and I shouldn't of.
I've realised that my diet has been the root of my problems for a long time. I was always criticised because of my food choices. I would of eaten salad all day every day if I could but it wasn't normally an option. I can't wait for 12WBT to start so I can get my food together or even for my Michelle Bridges cookbook to arrive so I can start. Although at the moment we have numerous guests in our house so there is always food going everywhere.
The other reason I feel I failed is because on our ease into 5km run tonight I got half way through and was busting to go to the toilet. I had to head home but I think it was more of an excuse then an actual need. I definitely needed to go but I think I could of continued without any issues.
I think I need to do my exercise in the morning. As much as I don't like getting up earlier then I have to, my twin babies make it very difficult to structure exercise. If I get up at a set time and put the boys in the pram then I will always get it done. At night they have been fighting to go to bed before 7:30 - 8pm as the sun is shinning bright plus we have guests that entertain them. It's always a decision about getting them to bed first, eating dinner before or after and in the end we don't give it 100%. I need to make the commitment here and now to get my fat butt out of bed and get the exercise done.
I'm definitely feeling better and I can already see my stamina improving with the use of the running app. I can only dream where I will be at by the end of four months.
I've realised that my diet has been the root of my problems for a long time. I was always criticised because of my food choices. I would of eaten salad all day every day if I could but it wasn't normally an option. I can't wait for 12WBT to start so I can get my food together or even for my Michelle Bridges cookbook to arrive so I can start. Although at the moment we have numerous guests in our house so there is always food going everywhere.
The other reason I feel I failed is because on our ease into 5km run tonight I got half way through and was busting to go to the toilet. I had to head home but I think it was more of an excuse then an actual need. I definitely needed to go but I think I could of continued without any issues.
I think I need to do my exercise in the morning. As much as I don't like getting up earlier then I have to, my twin babies make it very difficult to structure exercise. If I get up at a set time and put the boys in the pram then I will always get it done. At night they have been fighting to go to bed before 7:30 - 8pm as the sun is shinning bright plus we have guests that entertain them. It's always a decision about getting them to bed first, eating dinner before or after and in the end we don't give it 100%. I need to make the commitment here and now to get my fat butt out of bed and get the exercise done.
I'm definitely feeling better and I can already see my stamina improving with the use of the running app. I can only dream where I will be at by the end of four months.
Monday, 2 January 2012
Day One and a long way to go!
My husband and I have been trying to walk each morning at 6am but strangely my twin babies decided that 7:30am was a good wake up time. After over a year with very little sleep I slept in without even realising. We had a busy morning with getting breakfast organised for a house full of people and by the time we were finished and all cleaned up it was time for the boys to have a sleep.
We all decided it was a beautiful day and would like to go to the beach. After quite a while of getting everything that you need for three babies, a 5 year old and five adults we finally headed out. We had a beautiful lunch at the beach and then let the boys play in the sand and splash in the water. It was a beautiful day. The day ticked my first and third commitment.
When we got home, I realised we had done very little exercise today. One of the main things I have pick up on reading the forums for 12WBT is that we need to do at least half an hour exercise every day. After feeding the boys, my husband and I headed out for a walk. I had downloaded an app which is supposed to ease you in to running five kilometres. I have always wanted to be able to go for a run to release the tension after work.
We started out really well but very soon I was really struggling. Everything was hurting and by the third run I stopped. I gave up and I felt horrible. My husband was extremely supportive and convinced me to continue but only lightly jog instead of full running. I finished off the full program lightly jogging. I felt annoyed that I had not achieve 100% but I soon realised (with the help of my husband) that it had been over a year since I had done hard exercise and I have been busy looking after twin babies and my body needed to ease back into it. I set out very determined but some of the determination was run out of me.
After finishing the program, we continued to walk our circuit. After a little while I felt better and better and when I got home I realised I had run/jogged/walked for 50 minutes and I had burnt 657 calories. So happy to start and I can't wait to continue.
We all decided it was a beautiful day and would like to go to the beach. After quite a while of getting everything that you need for three babies, a 5 year old and five adults we finally headed out. We had a beautiful lunch at the beach and then let the boys play in the sand and splash in the water. It was a beautiful day. The day ticked my first and third commitment.
When we got home, I realised we had done very little exercise today. One of the main things I have pick up on reading the forums for 12WBT is that we need to do at least half an hour exercise every day. After feeding the boys, my husband and I headed out for a walk. I had downloaded an app which is supposed to ease you in to running five kilometres. I have always wanted to be able to go for a run to release the tension after work.
We started out really well but very soon I was really struggling. Everything was hurting and by the third run I stopped. I gave up and I felt horrible. My husband was extremely supportive and convinced me to continue but only lightly jog instead of full running. I finished off the full program lightly jogging. I felt annoyed that I had not achieve 100% but I soon realised (with the help of my husband) that it had been over a year since I had done hard exercise and I have been busy looking after twin babies and my body needed to ease back into it. I set out very determined but some of the determination was run out of me.
After finishing the program, we continued to walk our circuit. After a little while I felt better and better and when I got home I realised I had run/jogged/walked for 50 minutes and I had burnt 657 calories. So happy to start and I can't wait to continue.
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